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42 Kid-Friendly (and Mother Approved) Jokes That Will Guarantee a Laugh Everytime

09/28/2017 By Lila 1 Comment

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Have you ever had your children tell you ridiculously lame jokes?  Perhaps one that isn’t even anywhere close to a joke, but that they say anyway, laughing hysterically when it is over?

If you answered no to that, I can only think of three reasonable answers as to why…first you do not have any children of your own. Second, you do have children, but they are not quiet old enough to form complete sentences. Third,  you are the child and don’t think your jokes are lame!

As a mother of four crazy and sometimes funny children, lame jokes are almost a daily occurrence for me. Typically it is in the form of a “knock-knock” joke, and let me tell you, it is NO WHERE CLOSE to what an actual “knock-knock” joke should sound like.  Here is an example of what I mean:

Knock, Knock. Who’s There? Apple. Apple Who? I had an apple in my lunch today.  (Followed by excessive laughing)

ARE YOU KIDDING ME, CHILD?  Who is responsible for teaching you such pathetic humor?

When my children come home and tell a lame joke or attempt to make a “knock-knock” joke seem funny, I feel like I have failed them. It is living proof that I have neglected to bring GOOD humor into their lives and those they associate with on a daily basis. I could only imagine the look on their teacher’s face after that joke is shared to them in the classroom. Haha!

After realizing that my children needed some better jokes, I went to the library and checked out a ridiculous amount of joke books. I also asked my friends to share some of their favorite, kid friendly, jokes with me.

Y’all, this is a goldmine of laughter coming atcha!

I hope these jokes bring laughs to you, your children, and everyone you come in contact with!  We all could use more laughter and happiness in our world….enjoy!

24 Kid Friendly Jokes

Q: Why do bees hum?
A: Because they don’t know the words.

Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A pen-guin

Q: What did the buffalo say to her son before he left?
A: Bison.

Q: What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk.

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken hadn’t been invented yet.

Q: Why did the boy bring toilet paper to the party?
A: Because he was a party pooper.

Q: Why is everyone tired on April first?
A: Because they’ve just finished a 31-day march.

Q: What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
A: Dung

Q: What kind of cans are there in Mexico?
A: Mexicans

Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: They live in schools

Q: How do you know that it’s raining cats and dogs?
A: You step in a poodle

Q: What do you call a sheep with no head or legs?
A: A cloud

Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours?
A: Nacho cheese

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in It

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
A: P-P-P-Poke her face, P-P-P-Poke her face!

Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
A: Because he was looking for Pooh!

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A: The same place you left him.

Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter because he won’t come.

Q: When do you go at red and stop at green?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon!

Q: What’s a dinosaur’s favorite reindeer?
A: Comet.

Q: What kind of bird steals?
A: A Robin.

Q: What does a snowman vampire give you?
A: Frostbite!

Q: Where are the best pencils made?
A: Pencil-vania.

Q: What time do you go to the dentist?
A: At tooth-hurty!

Q: What gets wetter the more it dries?
A: A towel!

18 Kid Friendly Knock-Knock Jokes

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Kent.
Kent who?
Kent you let me in?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears some more knock knock jokes for you.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Woo.
Woo who?
You don’t need to cheer. It’s just a joke.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You are welcome.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Adore.
Adore who?
Adore is between us. Open up!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Wow. You sure are excited to see me!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
Cows don’t go who, they go moo.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Etch.
Etch who?
Bless you!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
I am.
I am who?
Oh no! Did you forget your name?

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel.

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W-H-O

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Smell mop.
Smell mop who?
…..smell mop who?! (say it real loud)

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Beats!
Beats who?
Beats me!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Ada.
Ada who?
Ada burger for lunch!

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Claire.
Claire who?
Claire the way; I’m coming in!

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Frank!
Frank who?
Frank you for being my friend!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the trunk, you pack the suitcase!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Who.
Who who?
Is there an owl in here?

What joke listed above is your favorite? Do you have other kid friendly jokes you like to tell?  We would love to hear from you. Leave a comment and see if you can make us laugh! 

The resources I used to retrieve some of these jokes were: A Joke a Day 365 Guaranteed Giggles by Kingfisher Publications, Knock knock Jokes by Judy A. Winter, Belly Laugh Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids by Sky Pony Press, friends and family members.

 

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Lila
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Lila
Hi! I’m Lila and am excited to be apart of the I Love My Kids blogging team. I am a stay-at-home mother to 4 beautiful and rambunctious children and have been married to my husband for 14 years. I enjoy spending my time on adventures with my family, working out, and attempting to be crafty. In addition to that, I am a strong advocate for adoption, autism awareness, and health & fitness. Crafts, DIY activities, and all things FUN is what I strive to bring to you with each new post. You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter @reviewsbylila for fun sneak peaks and an insider look into my beautiful, yet crazy, life.
Lila
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  1. knock knock jokes says

    04/19/2018 at 7:34 AM

    You can ask knock knock jokes to sire to get fast response. Here is the list of question that you can ask to siri to get the best in class funny and hilarious response. You should feel free to ask siri as your choice and the best suitable as per your requirements.

    Reply

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