We all know them, the people who “have it all together” all the time. You know who I’m talking about. That Mom who works out everyday, always looks flawless. She has super over achieving children, her kids actually listen the first time when called to leave the park AND they don’t throw a fit as they are walking to their vehicle. Her, you know her right? I know her, I want to be like her.
I was just at the park with my kiddos the other day and that Mom who always has “it all together” was there. As I was comparing my flaws with her perfection my mothering confidence was at an all time low. The very next day my sister, Sarah, posted this message on her Facebook page. It hit the nail on the head for me and I asked her permission to share it.
“Behind the Front Door” By Sarah Clayton
“As I pulled up to my house one day, I thought to myself “from the outside we look like we really have it all together”. Our grass was freshly cut. All the garden areas were weeded and sidewalks cleared of debris. But what people don’t know is that our grass is freshly cut because our landlord has someone do it. Our weeds were pulled by my mother (who happens to be my neighbor) because we had not gotten around to it. Then another thought quickly entered my mind “what if people could only see behind my front door”.
Behind my front door, on that day, you would be welcomed with piles of laundry, dishes, garbage needing to be taken out, and miscellaneous items to be picked up and put away. With four young children, one of them being a new baby, the house has been a struggle to keep clean. I used to love having friends come over to our house but now the thought of having to clean the house to have people over is too much. Some days you may find a mother still in her pajamas at 3 pm just trying to do her best to get through the day.
Then I thought a little deeper, “what if people could see what’s going on inside of us?” If they could see our emotions just like the objects scattered throughout the house. Some days you may find a mom feeling like a failure just praying she isn’t messing up her kids too much. You may find someone emotionally breaking down because the cross that they have been asked to carry feels a little too heavy. You may find loneliness, sadness, marital struggles, financial stress. What we see at first glance is rarely what it seems.
We have all become very good at covering up the imperfections in our lives. We wear makeup to cover our blemishes, certain styles of clothes to cover parts of our bodies we don’t like, we fake a smile to cover what we may truly be feeling. Next time you think someone has it all together, just remember to “look behind the front door”. We all have things that are hard even though you may not see it at first glance.
May we all be a little less quick to judge and a little kinder. May we remember that everyone has their struggles even though from the outside we may not see it. Be a friend who listens, comforts, and takes the time to “look behind the front door”. And when you find a friend like that, don’t let them go!”
Her words just smacked me perfectly into reality, chances are if I look behind that super Mom’s front door I will see that she does have challenges and struggles. It also helped remind me, that I am doing a good job. I am enough. My efforts made with my children are a worth while cause even if I am the lady that leaves the park with the screaming just turned 3 year old who doesn’t want to leave yet. There it is, there is the truth about the people who have it all together. They really don’t and it’s okay that you don’t either!
Let’s build each other up and help each other out in this parenting adventure! Thanks for reading and thank you to Sarah for allowing me to share her “Behind the Front Door” story.